Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
