he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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