Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
