I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
