I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
