If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
