I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize