i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Even my vagina gasped.
3pm strippers are depressing
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
