I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
