I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
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