He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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