someone threw a dead crab at me
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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