Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
