i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize