Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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