Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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