I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
