her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
