I smell stomach acid.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
