he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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