My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
