dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
