Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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