Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
