last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
