Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
