I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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