I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
