So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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