:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
