Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
