Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
