I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
