sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
