Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
