Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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