I heard we made out
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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