yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
