My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
