Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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