i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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