Sponge bath it is.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
