the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
