so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize