And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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