I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
