I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
