I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
