you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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