i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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