just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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