I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
two words: eviction party
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize