MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
