I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
