Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize