Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
