I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
