You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
