i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
