I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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