North Korea, Best Korea!
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
