But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
