Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you didnt know i had herpes?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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