Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We're too hungover to prance.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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