the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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