We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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