The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
