Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
